The discussion regarding the crazy marriage antics of some salafis is still ongoing in some areas of the web, and it’s good to see that this discussion is shedding light on support groups for the victims of this abusive practise and also leading to suggestions on how to prevent it from happening in the first place.
I thought that this problem – by virtue of the fact that it seems to happen almost exclusively within the madkhali-salafi communities – affects only a small proportion of Muslims. However, threads on IA and discussions on FB and elsewhere have thrown up story after story of this sort of abuse happening.
Then, I’ve also been privy to emails which have made me realise that while one group seeks to curtail this evil by exposing the culprits involved, another group has chosen a completely different strategy altogether. It’s a two-step strategy consisting of (a) denouncing those who are shedding light on this problem as fitna-mongers and confusion-makers, and (b) closing your ears and burying your head in the sand. By following this strategy, I assume, they believe that the problems will disappear, and everything will be ok again.
This strategy is not without it’s attractions: it’s simple, doesn’t involve much effort and saves you from having to hear these horrible stories. What I’m wondering is why don’t we put these guys in charge of us so that they can fix all our problems?
Now obviously, I’m being sarcastic, but ironically, we find that such people ARE in positions of leadership in our community. For other than Umar Lee, salafiburnout and phillymuslimoon (of which none is an Imam) has any popular speaker or da’ee or mainstream organisation addressed this issue, let alone proposed a solution for it?
The evil of the few is made possible by the silence of the many, the old saying goes.
One of the more popular solutions mentioned (and the nafs is always inclined towards scandal) is to name and shame, but this is an area that is fraught with danger because one severe problem that comes into play is the minefield that is marriage politics. Do you notice how often a person who is having difficulties in their marriage sounds so convincing in their claim that they are the oppressed party? And how awful their life is? And how horribly they are treated? and they carry on going on and on … right until you hear the other side of the story which fills in gaps that were deliberately left out. What I’m saying is that when it comes to marriage problems, a hijabi sister is perfectly able to match, nay, to outdo, the vileness, the viciousness, and the spite of any next woman, muslim or non-muslim.
Or haven’t you heard of women who have denounced their (ex-)husbands to the cops as terrorists or played the religiously oppressed card? So if one practising woman is able to make this up, then what prevents another from making allegations of sexual shenanigans against another Muslim man?
So this should give pause for thought to people who want to pursue a blanket name-and-shame policy. While there is no doubting the truth to some of these stories, it would behoove us to ask people who have patience, investigative resources and a shari’ah background to take the lead in fixing this problem.
Check out SOLACE and Marriage Bandits
